Start a revolution, LOVE your body.

Day two of the "I'm dieting but if something really delicious comes along, I'm eating it" diet. So far, so good. I have to admit that my obsessive personality LOVES being on a diet. Obsessing over how many steps I've taken is like heaven for me. All thanks to a lovely invention called the pedometer. I'm up 1500 steps from yesterday.

And now, a rant that I tend to give any time I talk about body weight and food issues:

I am and have always been of the "love your body" mindset. I think that people should love and be happy with their body, no matter what. There are far too many sources in the world telling us what we should and should not look like. Why feed into that? Do not diet for someone else. Do not starve yourself to be "skinny." Who gets to decide what looks good, anyway? If you are happy with the way you look, embrace it. LOVE YOURSELF.

I have done a lot of research and reading on body image issues throughout my life. For some reason, I've always had an interest in the topic. Personally, I blame Tracey Gold and her Lifetime movie about bulimia for hooking me on the topic early on. One of my favorite books that I have read on the topic is, hands down, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters by Courtney E. Martin. I had the pleasure of meeting and seeing Courtney speak on campus early last year (and actually, she is the reason I started following feministing.com). Anyway, her book is one of the best books I have read on the topic of body image disorders. Throughout it, she discusses a duality that exists within young women today. The perfect girl-starving daughter duality.

Sidenote: It is difficult for me to not want to just quote the entire book for you right here, as I think she explains it perfectly. I will try my best to summarize her point for those of you that will not be bothered to read the book. I really suggest you do read it though. It will change the way you see the women in your life. Suddenly, the eating habits of others (and yourself) stand out and are so much more evident. Personally, I noticed that voice inside my head telling me that ice cream was off limits because I had it the night before. And then, came another voice saying, "since when is that the rule? Why am I prohibiting myself? Why do I feel guilty?"

Anyway, Courtney summarizes the perfect girl-starving daughter duality to be a sort of good and evil twin relationship that exists within a lot of women. The "perfect girls" are the sides of us that say, "we must get straight A's. We must make money. We must save the world. We must be thin. We must be unflappable. We must be beautiful." After all, "we must be perfect. We must make it look effortless." But within every "perfect girl," there is also this "starving daughter." The starving daughter, as Courtney describes, "are tired of trying so hard all the time." They are full of doubt, guilt, conflict, and shame. Hurt by the world's constant expectations. The conflict between these twos sides are what lead women to many of the body image issues and disorders that exist. Courtney asks us to imagine the time we would save by not thinking, talking, hating our bodies; "One minute pledging to yourself that you won't eat one more thing the rest of the night; two minutes thinking about how little willpower you have when you eat some gummy bears out of the care package your mom sent; three minutes trying to get other people to eat some with you."


So why do I say all of this? Well, I care about you. I have seen way too many of my friends suffer from body ideals. I have known girls who pour water on their food to prevent themselves from eating more. Girls who will go to the gym despite being sick. Girls who overeat because of their feelings, only to hate themselves later because of it.

Do not let me fool you, I am not immune to this "perfect girl" mindset. I think I have always had issues with food. I was always on the overeating side of things (the medical field recently began to recognize this as "binge-eating disorder.") I remember hiding food in my room when I was younger. Even bottles of soda. I felt like I NEEDED to have them. They comforted me. I am still prone to "eating my feelings" and suffer from grazing when I'm bored and have idle time.

Let it be known that this diet adventure I am currently embarking on is not a result of Cosmo telling me I need to lose 25lbs before the semester starts (though I'm sure if I pick up this month's issue, it is telling me this). I am doing this for ME. I am unhappy with my current health and would like to improve it. Being diabetic, I need be more on top of my food and exercise for my own benefit. And yes, I recognize the perfect girl inside of me as much as the starving one. The fact that I started this blog off talking about my obsession with my pedometer is proof enough.

And to end this, a quote from Courtney's book:

"We are not our bodies. Our souls are not our stomachs. Our brains are not our butts. A lot of women have lost track of the truth that how we feel about our bodies does not have to be indicative of how we feel about ourselves."

I thank you if you managed to read all of that.