Daron is always exposing me to new creative writing techniques and I absolutely adore her for it because I feel like it really allows me to better express myself in writing. And so, I take a page from her and give you a "snapshot" of everything going on in my head right now. Free writing, no turning back.
Brain Snapshot at 1:30 AM, December 21, 2008:
Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. No new pictures? Oh right, everyone is likely to be sleeping. Why am I up? The house is quiet. I'm playing Norah Jones again. Her voice is so beautiful and makes me weak in the knees. I should buy another pillow. My bed is too empty. I can't believe I have to pee again. Didn't I just go? My roots are more noticeable than before. Did that message send? Refresh. Refresh. Nope. I wonder if they know. Does it show, like a scarlet letter? And why do I care? I can't stand how often I am one step forward, two steps back. On and off. Second thoughts and restraints. I might try, if you can guarantee me a safety net. A lifeboat. A flotation device to save me from a sea of unknown. I don't like the unknown. I am habit. Schedule, structure ..security. I hope dad makes chocolate chip pancakes tomorrow. Bacon, too. Maybe I'll set an alarm. This weekend has felt magical. I'll be sad on Monday when I wake up alone to a cold house. I wish someone would come hold hands with me and listen to the quiet. Maybe see a few lights. I'm on top of the sheet. How did that happen? I need to find my knitting needles. Closet? Hallway? Basement? I want to read. Refresh. Refresh. Nope, nothing new.